The Devil’s Rejects, 2005


Tootie fucking fruity’


Just that such a sweet family with Mother Firefly and a ten-foot tall, sumanabitch called Tiny. The Evil Within Actor Matthew McGrory (1973 – 2005), cannot be responsible for such horrific and gruesome crimes (in the History of America) of kidnapping, torture, necrophilia, manslaughter, International Day for Womanslaughter, rotting bodies in the basement and all that Jazz, the nasty relentless and sadistic and hard to watch jazz.

That’s what they said about Dahmer and Gacy and Sid Haig.

From an explosive, Bible-quoting (the Southern way), full pump-action shootout opening to the Thelma and Louise, 1991, to go-ending; Rejects has to be one of the best horror/action films ever made. One of those films that intend to entertain and not merely to sicken and its depraved killers are portrayed as actual people (nothing supernatural), with real histories, doing time, mug-shots, personalities, and some real fried chicken.  

The best parts of the film are its open spaces, location shoots, heavy accents, super freeze-frame frantic editing and the fact that Captain ‘Cutter’ Spaulding sells fried chicken on the side, whose TV ad is simply hilarious and at the same time creepy as fuck with that spiral stack hilt. This man has worse teeth than mine and I have a hundred thousand bucks worth of dental problems. 

I could smile once, now they call me District Attorney Dent.

Enough about me. Rob Zombie directs pretty awesome; with extreme closeups and long shots of a camera levitating into the air to give us the whole picture. The players are all strong in their almost serious deliveries and William Forsythe as Sheriff – whiskey and psalm combo – Wydell is a motherfucking, badass kingdom to reckon with. He is the best Southern movie cop ever. From Buck Owens’ ‘Satan’s Got to Get Along Without Me’ to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Free Bird, which plays over the superbly choreographed and superior blood-soaked shootout finale, Rejects is one of those films where Rob Zombie can be proud of making such a wild and a deranged film. Even then critics were not too happy with the experiment in deliberately retro film-making, a hardcore 70s C-grade perfect cheesy glow. Some said it lacks the underlying social tension. OK. Robert K. Elder, of the Chicago Tribune says “Rejects plays more like a junkyard of homages, strewn together and lost among inept cops, gaping plot holes and buzzard-ready dialog”. Sure, yes, OK.
However, that doesn’t change a thing. Not one. Rejects is as entertaining and harrowing and nostalgic and poetic as it was when it was initially released.

Such a delightful watch. This was a third time. I guess I’m just in love with Sheri Moon Zombie, and the crack that follows her everywhere. 


Oh, he ain’t letting them off easy.

Kill ’em all”

Our thoughts on Rob Zombie‘s Lords of Salem31 & 3 From Hell

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